1 00:00:36,591 --> 00:00:38,293 Mate. 2 00:00:41,996 --> 00:00:45,233 I just had the best idea for a new business. 3 00:00:46,434 --> 00:00:49,037 You know how people like to make sex tapes? 4 00:00:50,672 --> 00:00:52,840 Right. Fuck. What's this shit? 5 00:00:52,874 --> 00:00:55,243 -Turn that shit off. - 6 00:00:55,276 --> 00:00:59,747 We go into business together, right, 7 00:00:59,781 --> 00:01:02,584 making home porn. 8 00:01:05,353 --> 00:01:06,821 We go round to people's houses 9 00:01:06,855 --> 00:01:09,190 with a camera, lights and all the gear 10 00:01:09,224 --> 00:01:12,427 and shoot sex tapes. 11 00:01:13,394 --> 00:01:16,598 Why would anybody want to do that? 12 00:01:16,631 --> 00:01:19,767 Mate, people will love it. 13 00:01:21,536 --> 00:01:24,072 -I wouldn't. -Yeah, but you're a prude. 14 00:01:24,105 --> 00:01:27,175 Mate, this is a great idea. 15 00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:29,744 You sure you don't want to get in on this? 16 00:01:31,579 --> 00:01:33,414 I came up with a name for the business. 17 00:01:33,448 --> 00:01:35,650 - Mm-hm? -You ready? 18 00:01:35,683 --> 00:01:40,822 -Mm. -'Home-o Erotic'. Right? 19 00:01:40,855 --> 00:01:44,559 But the 'homo' is spelt 20 00:01:44,592 --> 00:01:48,062 H-O-M-E-O. 21 00:01:48,096 --> 00:01:53,468 Home-o Erotic. Get it? 22 00:01:56,337 --> 00:01:58,306 Do you know what 'homoerotic' means? 23 00:01:58,339 --> 00:02:00,542 Yeah. 24 00:02:00,575 --> 00:02:04,112 It means 'gay'. 25 00:02:04,946 --> 00:02:07,382 Like, gay sex. 26 00:02:08,583 --> 00:02:10,785 -Really? -Mm. 27 00:02:12,287 --> 00:02:16,724 Oh, fuck. It took me, like, an hour to come up with that. 28 00:02:28,203 --> 00:02:30,171 It's gotta be... 29 00:02:31,806 --> 00:02:33,708 ..Gary's... 30 00:02:36,344 --> 00:02:39,714 'Gary's Glitter Productions'. 31 00:02:40,815 --> 00:02:42,116 Hmm? 32 00:02:43,451 --> 00:02:45,453 He was a pedo. 33 00:02:47,856 --> 00:02:50,825 Oh. Yeah. 34 00:02:50,859 --> 00:02:53,094 Mm-hm. 35 00:02:54,829 --> 00:02:56,764 Yeah. 36 00:02:57,966 --> 00:02:59,734 Yeah, that wouldn't work. 37 00:03:04,272 --> 00:03:05,707 -Here we are. -Thanks a lot. 38 00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:06,908 -Have a great day. -See you. 39 00:03:06,941 --> 00:03:08,309 'Bye. 40 00:03:47,782 --> 00:03:50,118 Buy a new bag, you cheap bastard. 41 00:03:51,286 --> 00:03:53,054 -Wow, look at you, eh? - 42 00:03:53,087 --> 00:03:54,789 How you going, mate? Alright? 43 00:03:54,822 --> 00:03:57,025 What's this? When are you due? 44 00:03:57,058 --> 00:03:59,394 -Piss off. - 45 00:03:59,427 --> 00:04:01,629 -You good? -Oh, really good. Look at me. 46 00:04:01,663 --> 00:04:03,765 So, when are you gonna come back and train? 47 00:04:04,966 --> 00:04:07,435 Eh, I've been training at home. 48 00:04:09,604 --> 00:04:11,573 So, how's Brucey? 49 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,176 He passed, mate, about a year ago. 50 00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:17,011 -Oh, shit. -Yeah. 51 00:04:17,045 --> 00:04:18,580 Sorry, mate. 52 00:04:19,714 --> 00:04:21,916 Oh, I heard he wasn't too good. 53 00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:23,952 -Yeah, yeah, so... -Ah, that's fucked. 54 00:04:23,985 --> 00:04:25,987 Yeah, what are you gonna do, mate? You know... 55 00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:29,357 -You holding up alright? -Not too bad, you know. 56 00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:32,060 Come on. Hands up, hands up. 57 00:04:32,093 --> 00:04:35,430 -This place hasn't changed. -Just how I like it. 58 00:04:35,463 --> 00:04:38,399 -How's Killy going? Alright? -He's good. Really good. 59 00:04:38,433 --> 00:04:40,602 -Yeah? -Yeah. So, what about you? 60 00:04:40,635 --> 00:04:42,103 You still cracking heads? 61 00:04:43,338 --> 00:04:46,174 -Every now and then. -You're not getting any younger. 62 00:04:46,207 --> 00:04:48,610 What else am I gonna do? 63 00:04:49,644 --> 00:04:50,845 Start a gym? 64 00:04:50,879 --> 00:04:53,147 Yeah, but I gotta make some money. 65 00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:56,184 There's more important things than money. 66 00:04:56,217 --> 00:04:58,686 -Is there? -Yeah. 67 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:02,624 This place hasn't made me rich, but I love what I do. 68 00:05:02,657 --> 00:05:05,560 I love coming in here every day. 69 00:05:05,593 --> 00:05:07,695 -It's my life. -Mm. 70 00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:11,065 Do you love what you do, aside from money? 71 00:05:11,099 --> 00:05:12,767 Come on! 72 00:05:13,768 --> 00:05:15,303 Not particularly. 73 00:05:16,337 --> 00:05:18,773 You've got to ask yourself, "Why am I doing it?" 74 00:05:22,243 --> 00:05:25,580 - - 75 00:05:27,982 --> 00:05:30,785 Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! 76 00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:30,071 Piu-piu! Piu-piu! 77 00:07:32,273 --> 00:07:33,708 Piu! 78 00:07:42,951 --> 00:07:44,686 Piu. 79 00:07:53,394 --> 00:07:56,431 Thought you were pretty smart, didn't you? 80 00:07:56,464 --> 00:07:58,900 Well, time to die. 81 00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:08,743 Oh, fuck. 82 00:09:27,388 --> 00:09:29,057 Oh, shit. 83 00:09:41,236 --> 00:09:44,072 -What's going on? -Nothing. 84 00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:47,475 Couldn't get the passionfruit yoghurt, alright. 85 00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:49,010 So... 86 00:10:24,512 --> 00:10:26,781 Hey. 87 00:10:28,449 --> 00:10:30,385 Come inside. 88 00:10:39,093 --> 00:10:41,262 - -'Sup? 89 00:10:42,697 --> 00:10:44,199 You tell me. 90 00:10:44,232 --> 00:10:46,000 What? 91 00:10:52,373 --> 00:10:54,042 It's not mine. 92 00:10:54,075 --> 00:10:55,743 Cut the crap, princess. 93 00:10:55,777 --> 00:10:58,279 It's yours, not mine. 94 00:10:58,313 --> 00:11:01,216 Why are you such a smart-arse all of a sudden? 95 00:11:01,249 --> 00:11:03,117 Why do you have a gun? 96 00:11:03,151 --> 00:11:04,986 Doesn't matter why I got a gun. 97 00:11:05,019 --> 00:11:06,855 What matters is you shouldn't be playing with it. 98 00:11:06,888 --> 00:11:08,289 If you didn't have a gun, 99 00:11:08,323 --> 00:11:10,658 then I wouldn't be playing with it, now, would I? 100 00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:18,233 -So, where's the hole? -What hole? 101 00:11:18,266 --> 00:11:20,468 The hole you made when you fired the pistol. 102 00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:46,461 How do you know I fired it? 103 00:11:46,494 --> 00:11:48,763 Smell the gunpowder. 104 00:11:48,796 --> 00:11:52,100 So, why have you got a gun? 105 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:56,004 -Burglars. -Burglars? 106 00:11:56,037 --> 00:11:57,972 Yeah, you know what burglars are, don't you? 107 00:11:58,006 --> 00:12:00,074 Can we go shooting? 108 00:12:00,875 --> 00:12:03,411 -Nup. -Why not? 109 00:12:03,444 --> 00:12:05,113 'Cause I said. 110 00:12:06,481 --> 00:12:08,216 Please! 111 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,684 Nup. 112 00:12:28,036 --> 00:12:29,337 If you took me shooting, 113 00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:31,739 then, you know, you can teach me and stuff. 114 00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,643 Don't go in my room again, alright? 115 00:12:35,677 --> 00:12:38,846 Huh? Don't eye-roll me. 116 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,882 -Cut it out, I said. -My eyes are closed. 117 00:12:40,915 --> 00:12:42,584 How can I eye-roll when my eyes are closed? 118 00:12:42,617 --> 00:12:46,855 I don't know, but I know you're doing it. 119 00:12:46,888 --> 00:12:48,890 -What a jerk. -'Scuse me? 120 00:12:48,923 --> 00:12:50,358 Nothing. 121 00:13:02,437 --> 00:13:04,772 How do I know your medicine is true medicine? 122 00:13:04,806 --> 00:13:06,708 Very easy. 123 00:13:10,845 --> 00:13:12,547 Get some 20 hunters with me. 124 00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:15,149 When all is ready, I will rob the base... 125 00:13:35,403 --> 00:13:36,871 oss-breeze 126 00:13:36,905 --> 00:13:38,039 here at the ground... 127 00:13:38,072 --> 00:13:41,342 Mm, Superman, right? 128 00:13:41,376 --> 00:13:44,078 He's flying around, cruising around Metropolis, 129 00:13:44,112 --> 00:13:46,047 looking for bad guys, right? 130 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,516 He's flying around, flying around. 131 00:13:48,550 --> 00:13:51,019 And all of a sudden, he looks down. 132 00:13:51,052 --> 00:13:53,755 -He sees Wonder Woman, right. -Mm, mm. 133 00:13:53,788 --> 00:13:54,989 She's starkers. 134 00:13:55,023 --> 00:13:57,292 Buck naked, all oiled up, 135 00:13:57,325 --> 00:14:00,061 sunbaking on top of this building. 136 00:14:00,094 --> 00:14:01,863 -Right? -Mm-hm. Mm. 137 00:14:01,896 --> 00:14:04,365 Straightaway, instant boner. 138 00:14:04,399 --> 00:14:07,602 Cracks a fat. Super fat, right? 139 00:14:07,635 --> 00:14:10,972 He thinks to himself, "With my super speed, 140 00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:14,475 "I could fly down there, root her, 141 00:14:14,509 --> 00:14:15,944 "give her a quick couple of pumps 142 00:14:15,977 --> 00:14:18,846 "and then be out of there before she even knows what hit her." 143 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,281 -Huh? -Mm. 144 00:14:20,315 --> 00:14:22,951 So, he zooms down, 10,000 miles an hour, 145 00:14:22,984 --> 00:14:24,986 gives her a quick couple of pumps, blows his load 146 00:14:25,019 --> 00:14:26,821 and he's gone in, like, half a second, right? 147 00:14:26,855 --> 00:14:27,889 Yeah. 148 00:14:27,922 --> 00:14:29,591 Wonder Woman jumps to her feet and goes, 149 00:14:29,624 --> 00:14:31,059 "What the fuck was that?!" 150 00:14:31,092 --> 00:14:32,460 The Invisible Man goes, 151 00:14:32,493 --> 00:14:35,396 "I don't know, but my arsehole's fucking killing me." 152 00:14:39,801 --> 00:14:41,569 -Fucked him up the arse. - 153 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:48,376 ..beautifully, right off the meat of the bat. 154 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,578 Superman would be able to see him, though. 155 00:14:51,379 --> 00:14:53,915 No, he wouldn't. He's invisible. 156 00:14:53,948 --> 00:14:57,652 Yeah, but, like, in real life, 157 00:14:57,685 --> 00:15:01,122 'cause he's got that fuckin', um, X-ray vision. 158 00:15:01,155 --> 00:15:04,259 Yeah, but X-ray vision helps you to see through shit. 159 00:15:04,292 --> 00:15:06,694 It doesn't help you to see stuff that's invisible. 160 00:15:09,297 --> 00:15:11,466 What about that heat vision thing he's got? 161 00:15:11,499 --> 00:15:14,168 He sees infrared and all that kind of crap. 162 00:15:14,202 --> 00:15:17,739 Oh, mate, it's a joke. It's a joke. 163 00:15:22,510 --> 00:15:24,812 What does the Starship 'Enterprise' and toilet paper 164 00:15:24,846 --> 00:15:25,980 have in common? 165 00:15:26,014 --> 00:15:27,782 Don't know. What? 166 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:30,785 They both search Uranus for Klingons. 167 00:15:33,988 --> 00:15:35,790 -Eh. -Don't like it? 168 00:15:35,823 --> 00:15:37,258 Eh, it's not bad. 169 00:15:37,292 --> 00:15:39,494 Superman joke's better. 170 00:15:39,527 --> 00:15:41,162 Mm. 171 00:15:42,764 --> 00:15:46,334 Oh, mate... 172 00:15:47,602 --> 00:15:49,404 ..I know you just got out, 173 00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:51,472 but I need you to do me a favour. 174 00:15:51,506 --> 00:15:53,107 Here we go. 175 00:15:53,141 --> 00:15:56,611 I need you to go to my house, grab something for me. 176 00:15:57,612 --> 00:15:59,180 What? 177 00:15:59,214 --> 00:16:01,583 -You know my stash spot? -Mm. 178 00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:07,021 I need you to go in there and grab the black plastic bag. 179 00:16:07,822 --> 00:16:10,825 What's in it? Your pee-pee movies? 180 00:16:10,859 --> 00:16:12,727 -No, I've already got those. -Oh, good. 181 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,897 -Just grab the black bag. -Alright. 182 00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:19,100 Thanks, mate. I appreciate it. 183 00:16:44,626 --> 00:16:46,361 In you come. 184 00:16:46,394 --> 00:16:48,329 ♪ And I don't know 185 00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:53,234 ♪ If I could stand another hand upon you 186 00:16:53,268 --> 00:16:55,770 ♪ All I know is that... ♪ 187 00:16:55,803 --> 00:16:57,372 Hello, Ray. 188 00:16:57,405 --> 00:16:59,374 How you going? 189 00:16:59,407 --> 00:17:02,544 Where are these things you need? 190 00:17:02,577 --> 00:17:04,312 Basement. 191 00:17:09,884 --> 00:17:11,753 After you. 192 00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:56,831 You right? 193 00:17:56,865 --> 00:17:59,167 Are you right? 194 00:18:04,305 --> 00:18:06,708 Future's female, is it? 195 00:18:06,741 --> 00:18:08,576 Sure is. 196 00:18:21,122 --> 00:18:25,059 What's in the bag, Ray? Your pee-pee movies? 197 00:18:26,961 --> 00:18:28,596 They were Gary's. 198 00:18:41,976 --> 00:18:45,313 - -How'd you go? 199 00:18:46,281 --> 00:18:48,449 Tat's new boyfriend's a bit of a cunt. 200 00:18:48,483 --> 00:18:51,519 -Mm. Should have shot her. -Yeah. 201 00:18:51,553 --> 00:18:53,254 So, what's this? 202 00:18:53,288 --> 00:18:55,490 Open it. 203 00:19:04,699 --> 00:19:06,501 What is it? 204 00:19:06,534 --> 00:19:09,637 -A Vajankle. -A what? 205 00:19:09,671 --> 00:19:11,606 A Vajankle. 206 00:19:12,407 --> 00:19:15,743 -What do you do with it? -You jerk off with it. 207 00:19:17,245 --> 00:19:19,280 You've had your cock in this? 208 00:19:19,314 --> 00:19:21,349 Yeah. Oi! 209 00:19:22,350 --> 00:19:24,085 Here, here, here, have a look. 210 00:19:24,118 --> 00:19:26,521 See? You put your cock in it. 211 00:19:26,554 --> 00:19:29,958 You put your cock in this part with the vagina 212 00:19:29,991 --> 00:19:32,427 and then you play with the foot. 213 00:19:40,468 --> 00:19:42,437 What? 214 00:19:43,404 --> 00:19:46,241 Why would you put your cock in a foot? 215 00:19:46,274 --> 00:19:48,476 'Cause I've got a foot fetish. 216 00:19:55,116 --> 00:19:57,252 -You need help, mate. - 217 00:19:57,285 --> 00:19:59,354 Don't knock it till you try it, Ray. 218 00:19:59,387 --> 00:20:02,090 -Hello? -RAFAEL: Hey, Ray, you free? 219 00:20:02,123 --> 00:20:03,258 Yeah, mate, what's up? 220 00:20:03,291 --> 00:20:07,295 -I've got a job for you. -OK. What is it? 221 00:20:10,565 --> 00:20:13,768 UMS AND RATTLES) 222 00:20:42,864 --> 00:20:44,599 This way. 223 00:20:50,004 --> 00:20:52,040 Just down here. 224 00:21:03,685 --> 00:21:05,353 In here. 225 00:21:18,266 --> 00:21:21,135 Just gonna stand there, are you? 226 00:21:23,338 --> 00:21:26,307 -What happened? -Does it fuckin' matter? 227 00:21:26,341 --> 00:21:28,009 Look, get this bitch out of here. 228 00:21:28,042 --> 00:21:30,612 My folks are gonna be home in, like, an hour or so. 229 00:21:32,947 --> 00:21:35,350 She's somebody's daughter, fuckhead. 230 00:21:38,853 --> 00:21:40,655 Get around that side. 231 00:21:44,792 --> 00:21:46,628 -Lift her up. -Yep. 232 00:22:06,881 --> 00:22:09,017 Go around. 233 00:22:20,595 --> 00:22:23,131 -Get the door. -OK. 234 00:22:37,512 --> 00:22:41,849 -RAFAEL: How'd you go? -Yeah, good. 235 00:22:41,883 --> 00:22:43,518 What do you want me to do with it? 236 00:22:43,551 --> 00:22:46,754 Take it out to Dural. Bramble Road, lot three. 237 00:22:47,922 --> 00:22:50,725 There's a piggery out the back of the farmhouse there. 238 00:22:52,660 --> 00:22:55,196 Feed it to the pigs. 239 00:22:57,265 --> 00:22:59,200 OK. 240 00:23:34,302 --> 00:23:36,170 Hey, Samantha C. How are you tonight? 241 00:23:36,204 --> 00:23:38,206 Hello, Steve. Thanks for taking my call. 242 00:23:38,239 --> 00:23:39,340 My pleasure, darling. 243 00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:41,109 Now, tell us all how you met 244 00:23:41,142 --> 00:23:42,677 your sweetheart, Lachlan C. 245 00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:44,913 Well, I was on the train home one night 246 00:23:44,946 --> 00:23:47,715 and I was carrying a big stack of stuff... 247 00:23:53,321 --> 00:23:54,822 ..between me and the groper 248 00:23:54,856 --> 00:23:56,791 and kind of protected me, you know? 249 00:23:56,824 --> 00:23:58,059 And that was Lachlan. 250 00:23:58,092 --> 00:23:59,594 Your knight in shining armour. 251 00:23:59,627 --> 00:24:00,662 Yeah, we... 252 00:25:05,727 --> 00:25:08,429 Samantha, this is a fantastic romantic story. 253 00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:11,699 I really hope your fears are unfounded. 254 00:25:16,271 --> 00:25:19,574 Stay with us here at Radio 1128 for better music like this - 255 00:25:19,607 --> 00:25:22,443 'Stay With Me ', Lorraine Ellison. 256 00:25:27,315 --> 00:25:33,321 ♪ Where did you go 257 00:25:34,222 --> 00:25:39,994 ♪ When things went wrong, baby? 258 00:25:40,028 --> 00:25:44,432 ♪ Who did you run to... ♪ 259 00:25:45,533 --> 00:25:51,072 ♪ And find a shoulder to lay your head upon? 260 00:25:51,105 --> 00:25:57,045 ♪ Baby, wasn't I there? 261 00:25:57,078 --> 00:26:03,318 ♪ Didn't I take good care of you? 262 00:26:04,552 --> 00:26:10,758 ♪ No, no, I can't believe you're leaving me 263 00:26:13,528 --> 00:26:18,299 ♪ Stay with me, baby 264 00:26:18,333 --> 00:26:24,005 ♪ Please stay with me, baby 265 00:26:24,038 --> 00:26:28,142 ♪ Oh, stay with me, baby 266 00:26:28,176 --> 00:26:34,215 ♪ I can't go on 267 00:26:36,050 --> 00:26:41,856 ♪ Who did you touch 268 00:26:41,890 --> 00:26:45,093 ♪ When you needed 269 00:26:45,126 --> 00:26:47,529 ♪ Tenderness? 270 00:26:47,562 --> 00:26:52,734 ♪ I gave you so much 271 00:26:52,767 --> 00:26:55,136 ♪ And in return 272 00:26:55,169 --> 00:27:00,208 ♪ I found happiness... ♪